4 Ways to Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence
It’s officially Q4—the air is crisp, the leaves are turning, there are three months left in this calendar year and the holidays are coming. And with end-of-year deadlines approaching and social activities filling schedules, your time might begin to feel limited. But as a leader, it’s important not to let the stress that can come with busyness overwhelm and impact your behaviors because whether you realize it or not your influence is widespread and far-reaching. And a time like this is when your emotional intelligence (EQ) matters most.
The level of EQ that you possess and demonstrate both at work and at home affects your actions, words, responses and relationships. That’s why it’s necessary to understand yourself—how you react to people, things and situations and also how your reactions, behaviors and choices affect others. In this article, we explain four ways for you to strengthen your emotional intelligence so that you can be your best self, deliver results and enjoy every aspect this new quarter brings.
4 Ways to Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence
Assess where you’re at. Before you can begin to improve your EQ, you must first understand your own level of emotional intelligence and how it shows up in your life and leadership. One way to begin gauging where you’re at with your EQ is by asking safe and trusted people for feedback. So who in your life would be honest enough to share their perspective with you? Or another way to begin to understand your current level of EQ is by observing people’s reactions to things you do and say. How do people respond to you? What does their vocal tone or body language communicate about how you made them feel? But the quickest (and perhaps simplest) way to get a good picture of your current level of EQ is by taking an Emotional Intelligence assessment—and we have a great one to recommend here.
Listen more than you speak. This is hard for some people and easy for others. But a great way to communicate care and respect to another person is by practicing active listening. Conversations are a dialogue and a response is necessary, but the quick-witted retort isn’t always called for despite what our culture promotes. People want to feel both heard and understood. You don’t have to agree with someone, but listening demonstrates curiosity and the willingness to receive another’s perspective. If you’re just waiting for another person to stop talking so you can respond, that’s not listening, nor is that a conversation. And if find yourself interrupting another person while they’re speaking, take some time to reflect on why you did that. Ask yourself what it is you’re believing about that person and why you felt it appropriate or necessary to interrupt them. How do you feel when you’re interrupted? Even if you disagree with a comment, you can grow your own EQ by listening first and responding second.
Take accountability. A healthy leader isn’t afraid to apologize. In fact, when you’re in the wrong and show your people that you’re able to admit and own your mistakes, you’re demonstrating authenticity, fostering psychological safety and giving others permission to be human too. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s how you handle them that makes the difference. An emotionally healthy person doesn’t allow their ego to prevent them from being honest. If you struggle with the need to appear perfect, then ask yourself why that is. Dig into the narrative that has you believing that you shouldn’t or can’t make a mistake. A sign of high EQ is responsibility—for one’s actions, words, behaviors and overall impact. Don’t own something that isn’t yours to own, but if you lead a team, then your leadership affects them and their results reflect your leadership.
Show empathy. This comes more naturally for some people, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fostered in all. So how empathetic are you toward others? Can you detect when someone is feeling down? What is it about vocal inflections or body language that communicates to you when someone is having a hard time? If empathy is difficult for you to grasp, understand or show, then you can grow it within yourself by practicing curiosity. Just because something that’s easy for you is hard for another doesn’t make them wrong and you right. Or if you have a lived past experience that you were able to get through or shake off, don’t assume that someone else should be able to do the same. You’re not them and you haven’t lived every experience that brought them to this moment, event or situation. Show empathy by relating when appropriate but not assuming or projecting. Empathy is a huge component to emotional intelligence and can make the people around you feel valued, heard, accepted and loved.
A person who displays high levels of emotional intelligence can be such a gift to the people around them. And as a leader, you have a responsibility to work on your own EQ and to use your influence positively. Our Emotional Intelligence assessment is a great tool to help each individual on your team own their influence. And if you’re looking for a Q4 topic to lead your team in, then a discussion around EQ could be a great option. It would not only communicate that you care about investing in your team as a whole, but also that you care about investing in each individual teammate and their own personal growth.
