How To Lead Outside of Work

“I want to be a better leader outside of work.”

This statement is one of the most common I hear from leaders I coach. It doesn’t matter what role they’re in, how much money they make, or the industry in which they work.

The desire to be purposeful and intentional in all areas of our life and business is one of the things which makes us uniquely human. Unfortunately, very few people have the courage to admit when they are struggling to lead outside of work. Smaller is the group of people that admit it, seek help, and actually take action to improve their leadership outside of work.

The past few weeks I have been reflecting on what it takes to be a great leader when I’m done at work. I've watched my friends interact with their loved ones, I’ve asked leaders I coach for their best practices, and I've sought guidance from mentors. Based on these conversations, I've discovered seven ways to improve your leadership outside of work:

Be present and engaged with your loved ones

This is the only way for you to know and meet the needs of your loved ones. You must make time with them a priority and non-negotiable discipline in your weekly routine. Turn off the cell phone, put away your tablet, and just be present. Remove distractions and find a place where you can listen with intentional curiosity about what is happening in their lives.

Understand the importance of rest and renewal

This may go against your typical “driver” leadership style, but taking time to disconnect, to not focus on a to-do list or goal, and to simply relax and allow space for doing nothing is healthy and will improve your relationships. During this time, you could listen to music, try meditation, read, exercise—whatever it is that helps you rest and recharge in a beneficial way. You cannot give away what you don’t possess. Leading outside of work takes energy and if you are depleted in the evenings and on weekends you’ll miss the opportunity to give your best to those you love and serve outside of work.

Encourage your loved ones in the areas of their strengths

Your loved ones need to be reminded of their talents and gifts. They need to hear this from you regularly so they can be encouraged and believe they are known by you, and that you see them for who they uniquely are and what they have to offer the world around them. Take time to celebrate an accomplishment or look for opportunities to catch them doing something “specifically them” and praise them for it.

Guide them in decision making

Be that listening ear when they have a big challenge or opportunity in front of them. Listen and then ask questions to help them see different perspectives or approaches. Guide them through thinking about their purpose, values, and vision for what they want to see in the future. Share stories from your past where you have succeeded or failed and the lessons you learned along the way.

Comfort and protect your loved ones

There are times when the ones we love go through difficult seasons of life where they hurt physically and emotionally—where they are vulnerable and impressionable. During these times they need you to be compassionate and empathetic toward them. They need you to defend them against negative influences and protect them from those who would harm them or take advantage of them. Sometimes the people we love need us to speak up for them when they aren’t able to speak up for themselves.

Celebrate with your loved ones

Make your home a safe refuge for your loved ones—a place where everyone can celebrate successes, share meals, fellowship with friends, tell stories, and receive the blessings of your hard work and theirs. Use these times to encourage one another and celebrate the good in life.

Pursue your loved ones

Never give up on the ones you love. Pursue them daily, even when they are distant or struggling. Pursue reconciliation and restoration of relationships when they are broken. This may require you to show them love when you don't feel like it or there is no love shown in return.

At Building Champions, we help leaders and executives in all walks of life to live and lead with greater purpose both at work and at home. If you are looking for a guide to help you during this season of life and leadership, check out the bios of our amazing coaches and mentors and then let us know how we can help!