Leading a team isn’t just about the bottom line. It’s about more than numbers, data and results. It’s also about the relationships you have with your team members. Good leaders understand that every person on their team is an individual with their own goals and motivations. Successful leaders know how to harness those differences to create a better organization.

This requires emotional intelligence—the capacity to be aware of your own and others’ emotions and manage relationships fairly and with empathy. Emotional intelligence, also called EQ, is a key character trait of effective leaders because it helps them build relationships and trust with their employees. 

In this blog, we'll discuss what makes someone emotionally intelligent, the benefits of this skill and how you can develop and implement it in your own leadership.

Core Aspects Emotional Intelligence

You need a mix of empathy and soft skills to truly implement EQ in your leadership style. EQ is a combination of four core leadership skills. 

1.) Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is at the heart of everything you do as a leader. You have to be cognizant of how your own emotions affect your perceptions as well as your strengths and weaknesses. This makes you a better leader by helping you build consistency and know when to lean on your team.

Teams value consistency above almost all else, which is why self-awareness is one of the most important traits of an emotionally intelligent leader. It can be tough to assess your own self-awareness, though. One study found that 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are.

Here are a few things you can do to discover if you lead with awareness or get stuck in your own head:

1. Keep an open mind. You might notice innately turning down ideas, even before someone is finished explaining them, for a number of reasons. Work on hearing out new ideas and considering them from different perspectives to see if they would be viable solutions.

2. Be aware of your emotions. Strong emotions often dictate our decisions, but this isn’t a great way to lead others. Recognize when you feel strongly about something and give yourself time to calm down before making a decision. This will help you approach problems rationally and find the best solution.

3. Stay focused. As a leader, you have a lot on your plate. It can be tough to manage competing priorities but you have to stay focused in your role if you want to lead your team to success. Don’t allow yourself to become preoccupied with extraneous tasks or projects. Focus on the organizational priorities so you can better inform and direct your team. 

2.) Self-Leadership

When you hold a leadership role, your core responsibility is to set the tone for your team. You’re the example they look to when wondering how to react to change, what next steps are and what it takes to be successful in your organization. 

Being a good example requires excellent self-management. You need the discipline and skills to carry out high-level tasks in a timely manner, even in stressful situations. Show your team that you’re working hard alongside them to empower them to keep striving for success.

You also show team members how to treat each other. Make the effort to be empathetic and understanding in all of your interactions. Show that you enjoy hearing about your team’s work problems and personal accomplishments alike. When they feel valued, they’ll be more engaged and feel more connected to your organization.

3.) Social Skills

Your social skills reflect your ability to recognize and address others’ emotions. It’s about knowing your audience, understanding their feelings and choosing the best way to address those emotions. This requires a high level of interpersonal skills and expert empathy.

For example, imagine there’s a major change in your organization. This might be new senior leadership, changed direction or merging with another company. Emotionally intelligent leaders will address the issue head on and preemptively field any concerns their team might have. Encourage questions from your direct reports and build trust with them by giving honest answers and a clear vision for the future.

In addition to focusing on clear communication, you also need to be flexible. Every team member is different and will require slightly different types of leadership. Take the time to understand what they respond to by asking questions, watching their body language and evaluating their work. This will give you a better understanding of how to relate to them and help them tailor their own leadership development path to their interests and goals.

4.) Relationship Management

How you lead, inspire and develop your team matters. As we mentioned in the introduction, effective leadership is about results and relationships. Building positive relationships with your team members is a key aspect in emotional intelligence. It creates reciprocity, trust and accountability. 

Creating healthy relationships in the workplace takes a certain amount of social awareness and a true interest in people’s professional and personal lives. Remember, your team is composed of individuals and the more they feel seen the better your employee engagement will be. However, some leaders struggle with finding ways to create an environment that encourages teamwork and open dialogues.

There are a few things you can do to build relationships with your team members and among your teams:

• Encourage healthy conflict. Conflict makes many people uncomfortable but it’s not always bad. Helping your team work through healthy conflicts can increase their respect for one another and help them develop their own productive conflict management skills.

• Build a culture of belonging. People want to feel connected to something bigger than themselves. Building a culture of belonging in your organization helps them to know they’re an integral part of your mission and success, as well as introduces them to a community of like-minded people among their coworkers.

• Offer clear communication. Not many people think of communication skills when they hear “relationship management,” but it’s a core emotional intelligence competency in this area. Relationships require trust and communication is the bridge that brings people there. When you clearly express ideas, plans and strategies, you lay the foundation of a trusting and productive relationship with your staff.

How to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

It might seem like emotional intelligence skills are inborn elements of someone’s personality. However, much like with technical skills, you can develop and hone your emotional intelligence by practicing the skills that accompany each competency.

Active Listening

Active listening is key to emotionally intelligent leadership. Take care to pay attention to what your team members are concerned or excited about. Listen with empathy and withhold judgment. Instead, offer suggestions on how they can solve their problems or improve the situation on their own. This helps to empower them and shows you’re invested in helping them to grow.

Discover What Motivates People

Everyone is wired differently. Some people thrive under pressure when others freeze; some enjoy chaos and others need order. Great leaders take the time to discover what motivates each of their employees so they can lead in the most effective way. 

Ask your team members what motivates them most. If they aren’t quite sure, you can try asking them some of these questions:

• Do you like to be recognized for your work in front of others or privately?

• Do you enjoy a fast-paced work environment or something more predictable?

• How do you like to receive feedback?

• What makes you feel energized at work?

• What responsibilities make you feel empowered in your role?

Encourage Independent Decision-Making

We’ve discussed trust a few times in this post, and this is yet another way to establish trust with your team. Encouraging employees to make their own decisions allows them to develop that skill and to feel empowered in their abilities. It helps them take more responsibility and feel accountable for their roles in the organization.

This is also where clear communication comes in. Be sure to tell (and show) your employees that you believe in their ability to make wise choices. That’s how you’ll build trust and further your relationship with them.

Seek to Understand

Although you might be accustomed to people coming to you with questions, it’s also important to ask questions yourself. Be interested in your employees and how they work, think and collaborate. The more you can understand about the people you lead, the more effectively you can help them with professional and personal development.

A simple way to do this is to inquire about their process when they complete a project, especially if they did a great job. Ask them how they started and arrived at the finished product, what problems they ran into and how they solved them. This will help you understand how an employee approaches their work and overcomes obstacles so you can lead with empathy moving forward.

Benefits of Leading with Emotional Intelligence

Aside from making you a better leader, emotional intelligence has a number of benefits for you and your team.

It will help you manage stress, build better relationships and become more effective in your role. Your team will enjoy a more positive work environment, feel driven toward self-improvement and know they are always encouraged to do their best. Overall, these changes contribute to a powerful company culture that you can be proud of.

Emotional Intelligence is the Key to Coaching Leadership

The best leaders know how to develop professional acumen and build relationships with their team members. We believe that requires emotional intelligence and a coaching mindset. Learn how you can become a coaching leader in our Becoming a Coaching Leader eCourse.